I learned this in Mr. Wyant's 7th grade accelerated math class...
Fire engines are red because they have 8 wheels and 4 people ride it.
8 and 4 is 12. Twelve is a foot. A foot is a ruler. Queen Elizabeth
was a ruler. Queen Elizabeth was the name of a ship that sailed in the
sea. Fish swim in the sea. Fish have fins. The Finns faught the Russians,
which are red. Fire engines are always rushin', so they have to be red.